Day 18 & 19

Two days, two computer crashes and one time I almost freaked out. On Friday the computer crash took 5 minutes to fix but today it took 15 minutes. I was ok with staying put for most of the time. It's not easy if you can't move at all, can't open your eyes, can't turn anything above your chest. With the head mask on I just can't move and I have to wait until the angels release me.

Usually one radiation therapy takes 12 minutes but today it took 1/2 hour and that was to much for me. At the end I really felt uncomfortable but hey - I'll clear my memory tonight and day 20 comes tomorrow.

The radiation-oncologist seems to be hard working too. She answered my email over the weekend and told me, that the control CT have shown that the lymph nodes are showing damage. In size they've remained so far but she said this isn't important. I've asked back if damaged is a good sign and she said: "damaged is very good, meaning the remaining cancer cells most likely won't be able to divide anymore.

Wow that is good news. Bad news is the condition of my tongue. It looks really alienating to me. Can I buy a new one? It's swollen and infected. I'm not surprised but I still don't like to think much about it. I don't take painkillers right now.

Don't want to write about what I eat anymore. Just thinking about eating makes me feel sick a bit. It's not a pleasure and I look forward to other days with regards to that.

Running is still going well. Did 13 km today in 58 minutes and 250 meter inclination.